Gay Dating & Friendships | Personals : Friends & Dating

For gay men, writing a first personal ad can prove to be a daunting prospect. Advice is very subjective and can vary widely, depending on its source. The following seeks to provide guidelines for writing an attractive personal ad that will appeal to a potential partner.

WRITING A PERSONALS AD THAT WILL APPEAL TO OTHER MEN
Men are generally more inclined to post ads than women, and this includes gay men. For those who are very closeted, or merely curious, the very thought of advertising is extremely stress-provoking. However, it is worth remembering that many men will be in a similar position, and these are the most likely to respond to your ad. Easier said than done, it is just a case of "biting the bullet" and going for it.

When compiling an ad, it is valuable to bear the following points in mind:

1. For those reading the personal ads, it is a great source of frustration to read the bulk of an ad, only to find near the end that the advertiser is entirely unsuitable, seeking a partner of different body type, age, or in a distant location that makes a relationship infeasible.

Commence all advertisements with your personal information, including:

Gender

Age

Sexuality

Location

Race

Qualities you seek in a partner

2. Remember that a personal ad is your first "contact" with a potential partner, and you need to make a good initial impression. Put some time and effort into planning the ad, concentrating on spelling and punctuation.

3. Make apparent the desirable (and undesirable) qualities you are seeking in a partner. If you are somewhat pernickety about certain aspects, it is far better to indicate this in the ad, than set someone up for a future letdown. For example, stating that you don't want someone is overweight may seem tactless, but it is definitely kinder to convey such information up front.

4. Honest is vital in your self-description. There is no need to run yourself down necessarily, but if you are not seeking a long-term relationship, or are overweight, have bad skin etc., be up front about it. Many gay men seem to be concerned that they may be too old to find a suitable partner. However, attitude is far more important than age; there are men of all ages online. It is quite common for older men, who have previously been married, to be looking for male companionship.

5. Sincerity is also very important. True sincerity is usually noticed and is an attractive quality to the majority of people. Insincerity also shows, so try to be completely sincere.

6. The length of a personal ad is a major determining factor in how many men actually read it. Internet personals are better than the local press as you can use as much space as you require. Compiling an ad of precisely the right length is a tricky task. An ad which is too short does not convey enough information and is likely to be ignored. Long ads are boring and also tend to be ignored. Try to avoid both extremes and write just as much as you think is required. In order to give a realistic impression of "who you are" and your personal qualities, try to write something that really tells what you want out of life, and what you're looking for. Your writing style will also convey much about your personality.

7. The harder you seek a male companion, the harder one will be to find. At all costs, avoid sounding desperate and / or pathetic. Some ads may not receive any responses. Others may receive anything up to 20. In the former case, remember that patience is a virtue. In the latter case, you need to exercise a degree of selectivity, buy don't be afraid to disappoint respondents; it is unlikely to be the first time they have been rejected.

8. Be prepared to post ads several times and be patient. Having posted your initial ad, wait and see what the response is like. If the ad receives few (or no) responses, it may require some "fine tuning" or a complete re-write. Remember that the audience for personals is not static, with readers changing regularly. You may not find anyone quickly, but if you keep at it, there is a good chance of receiving numerous replies.

In summary, write a creative, intelligent, and thoughtful ad that is specific about what you do and don't want. Take the space you need to get it right, remembering that too long is as bad as too short. Post it every couple of weeks in several different places, experimenting to see what works most effectively. Most importantly be patient, with yourself and others.